Welcome to McDonalds Bakura!
by WolfRunner326
Summary: Bakura's back! And he's working at McDonalds! Join Bakura in his adventure braving Angry customers, Annoying Managers, and Evil Garden Gnomes. R&R please!
1. Fry Cooking and Gnomes

Welcome to McDonalds Bakura!

WolfRunner: HI! It's me again! I was reading the reviews of my other story and no one could think Bakura could work at McDonalds. Well I'm here to prove you wrong!

Bakura: WHAT?  
Wolfrunner: Shut up and do the disclaimer and you get a cookie.

Bakura: Sigh. WolfRunner does not own yugioh, so quit complaining!

Note: I know nothing on how they cook things at fast food except watching one episode of Buffy, so please excuse any mistakes I make

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

"There's the grill, you put the patties on and press that button. Once you hear a beep, you flip the patties over. Blah, blah, blah…" The manager, Mr. Cooke droned on. Bakura was only half listening, he was thinking about the irony about Mr. Cooke teaching him how to fry cook. Ever since the lawsuit, Bakura's been working his ass off trying to repay the court his fine for burglarizing a house. Of course Ryou isn't helping one bit. After having to deal with angry customers at the drive through for weeks, Bakura finally got promoted to Fry cook (if you can count that as a promotion) At least his salary increased. If this works out, he would be able to pay off his fine and quit this damn job before he goes insane. After what seemed like forever, Mr. Cooke was finally done telling him for to cook a heart attack on a platter and let him go home.

In a rare moment of kindness, Bakura got him and Ryou some nice dinner. He walked up to their little house.

"Oi Ryou! I got us some – AHHHHHH!" Bakura stopped in mid sentence to scream at unknown creatures in the yard. Ryou came running outside.

"Bakura, what is it?" Bakura pointed at a squat little creature with big feet, red cap and a beard. Ryou giggled and picked one up.

"They're not real silly." He held it up to Bakura, who glared the monstrosity down, it's chubby face still kept it's evil smile.

"It's a garden gnome. I have about 15 of them."

"WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?" Bakura yelled

"You don't need to yell! I got them at a garage sale. I just got a bonus from my boss and I saw them on my way home. The whole set was about $20. Aren't they cute?"

"No! They look like the spawn of Karl Marx!" Ryou frowned.

"Isn't there something you wanted to tell me?" He asked, Bakura pondered this.

"Oh right! I got you dinner!" He held up the sushi in the bag. Ryou smiled and took his with a bow. They both walked inside to eat.

Bakura had his little McDonald's outfit on as well as a large bag of garden gnomes. After a nightmare of the little demons he decided to 'make them disappear'. After learning about the fryer for French Fries, he had fun frying anything he could, and know it was the gnomes turn to meet a frenchie demise. During a slow break, Bakura pulled out one of the chubby creature. He dropped it into the fryer. It bubbled and fizzed. He then took some tongs and pulled out a deep-fried gnome. _Wow it worked better then I thought._ He grabbed another one and popped it in. Soon all the gnomes where covered in a golden crispy exterior. Fry cooking isn't going to be as bad as it seem.

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

Wolfrunner: Well what do you think?

Bakura: (Munching on a cookie) I liked it

Wolfrunner: That's because the true torture hasn't come in yet (Grins wickedly)

Bakura: Eep! (He zips off)

Ryou: What happened to your other story?

Wolfrunner: I dunno. Anyway, while evil plans are on the drawing board, please rate and review. If you want to see something in particular, tell me! And I'll try to incorporate it into the story.

Bakura: No deprived fangirl fantasies thank you.


	2. Royal Visits equals Royal Welcomes

Welcome To McDonalds Bakura!

(WolfRunner was playing Dragon Age Origins when Ryou walked in)

Ryou: WolfRunner, you're supposed to be working on your story.

WolfRunner: Yeah well, it can wait a couple of days.

Ryou: Put people are anticipating an update, here look at the reviews.  
(WolfRunner skims over the reviews briefly)

WolfRunner: Oh My God! They LIKED it? Personally I think it could be better. Oh well, QUICKLY RYOU! TO THE INTERWEBS!

(Ryou sighs and holds up a sign that says *WolfRunner does not own Yugioh or McDonalds)

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

A couple days after the Gnome incident, Bakura was taking a small break from fry cooking. There is only so much grease a 3000 year old spirit can take. He took out a cigarette and popped it in his mouth and lit it.

"Hey Bakura!" His coworker, Derrick called out "Think you can take a few customers while I take a leak?" Bakura scowled.

"I hate taking orders and you know it! What do I get out of this?"

"I'll give you a cookie." Derrick patted Bakura on the shoulder. Bakura's scowl deepened

"It better be a big one…" He muttered, Derrick snickered

"Will do, also put out that cig before Mr. Cooke gets on your ass about it."

"Hmph! It's not like he'll be able to smell it with all the steam and grease in the air."

"BAKURA! Put out that cigarette now!" Mr. Cooke called from the other end of the restaurant. Bakura sighed and flicked the cigarette out the window. He put on his headset and waited. Out of the camera he saw a car pull up to the window. He hated being nice to complete strangers who demanded nothing but perfection from him.

"Welcome to McDonalds how may I help you?" He grumbled

"Bakura?" A deep, commanding voice came from the receiver. Bakura stumbled out of his seat.

"Pharaoh? What the hell are you doing here? Do you even drive?" Bakura yelled into his headset. A chuckle could only be heard

"I could ask you the same thing. McDonalds? Seriously I thought you had more pride then that."

"Look do you want something or not?" Bakura growled into the receiver.

"With pleasure, I'll take a number one with no pickles, a large fries and a Sprite for the drink." Bakura was jotting down his notes. _Number one with extra pickles, small fries, and Mountain Dew. _

"Right then, do you want some sauce with that?" Bakrua asked

"Yeah Mustard and BBQ." _Ketchup and Mayonnaise it is!_ Bakura smirked

"Alright that'll be $18.62, first window…please…And I'm warning you baka, if you so much crack a smile at me, I'll come through the window." Bakura could be sure that Yami was smirking as the car drove up. Bakura could barley see the colorful porcupine hair of Yugi in front of the steering wheel. How he can even see what's in front of him. Yugi took out a twenty and gave it to Bakura. Bakura yanked it out of his hand and gave him his food, transition over. However Yugi still stayed there.

"Well?" Bakura yelled

"Can I have my change back?" Yugi asked

"Change? What change? Have a horrible day."

"But-"

"NEXT IN LINE!" Bakura yelled. Yugi droved off. Yami was glaring daggers at Bakura as he took the next customer.

"Welcome to McDonalds, what the hell do you want?" Bakura grumbled just as Derrick came back from the bathroom with cookie in hand. Bakura took it.

"Well I see we have the upper-hand when it comes to customer service." The at the other end of the receiver said. Derrick grumbled and took the headset away from Bakura.

"Andrew! Go back to Burger King you baka!" He said. Bakura was confused, he looked at Derrick, "They're here to give us a hard time."

"Recently we heard you guys got a good fry cook, we just wanted to check out the competition." Andrew snickered  
"Not there is much to begin with." Another voice said, and three other voices guffawed in delight. Bakura growled again and yanked the receiver from Derrick.

"OH YEAH! Well I bet I could cook twenty burgers of better quality then you jerks!" Bakura yelled into the headset

"Oh yeah?" Andrew asked

"YEAH!"

"Well then we'll see you at midnight tonight at the Burger King across the street. losers." And with that they drove away laughing. Derrick looked at him.

"I thought you said that our burgers were crap and you were ashamed to be forced to cook them, and only people with no pride would work at McDonalds."

"It's true, I'm only protecting what little dignity I have left." Derrick sighed.

That night Bakura and Ryou were eating in silence again. Bakura ferociously attack his food like a wolf. Snarfing down a particulary large piece of meat, then chugging down his drink. Ryou knew something was up. He looked up from his food.

"Bakura you're up to something again aren't you?" Bakura looked up.

"Again? Yeah right. When was the last time I did something bad?" He asked, a halo popping above his head to try and prove his innocence. Ryou took it and threw it away.

"When you tried to rob a house for sport." Ryou answered. Bakura sighed

"Look I can't risk losing my job, so, no I just had a bad day." He slurped down his drink. Ryou stood up.

"Okay then I'm going to bed." He said.

"But its six o'clock!"

"I have a big test tommorow." Ryou walked upstairs to his room.

"By the way do you know what happened to the gnomes I bought?"

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

WolfRunner: Thanks to SkaleFlapper15 to for the Fry-Off idea. Well another chappie done! Yay! And for those who listen to music before you judge them. You must listen to 'Do you want fries with that' by Tim McGraw. It totally fits Bakura's predicament at the moment. Anyway you know the drill, R&R and no Flames do to my taste in music please! Thanks!


	3. Ultimate FryOff of Ultimate Destiny

Welcome to McDonalds Bakura!

WolfRunner: Hi everyone I'm back! Sorry it took longer then it expected. I have my nephews over and I went to Balticon over the weekend which was AWESOME! My geek level just went up a few points.

Yusuke: Did you also forget your one of the biggest procrastinators of all time.

WolfRunner: YUSUKE! What are you doing in a Yugioh fanfic?  
Yusuke: I got bored waiting for you to finish this so I'm here to bug you into finishing this damn fic so you can write ours!

WolfRunner: Don't rush me! It's coming around! Anyway, I do not own Yugioh or McDonalds. If I did I would be rich and fat

Yusuke: Now onto the lame ass story everyone like

(WolfRunner chases Yusuke around with a frying pan)

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

Bakura looked at the Burger King with a scowl. What a dump! And they thought they were good! Derrick and several other employees of McDonalds looked ahead with determination. It was a tense moment for all of them. The doors opened up and the Burger King members walked out. Bakura stepped up. Andrew stepped ahead of his coworkers. He crossed his arms, spatula in hand.

"So you guys made it." Andrew sneered

"Shut up and explain the rules, baka." Bakura growled. Everyone tensed even more. Andrew smiled

"The rules are simple, we each make an assembly line of six members, one for each condiment. No one can help another member with their job. You can only make one burger at a time. Whoever makes twenty first wins."

"Alright then!" Suddenly the area grew dark and cold. Purple fog swirled around in the air. Everyone ignored it and stepped inside. Bakura stepped up to the grill. Five other members stood behind him. The Burger King members did the same.

"OKAY LET THIS SHADOW FRY-OFF BEGUIN!" Bakura yelled with a mad cackle. Everyone stared at him while after his psyco attack, he calmly took a patty out and started grilling. Andrew shrugged and did the same. A few minutes later, Bakura flipped the patty over his shoulder to the next person in the line. Eventually the McDonalds team finished a burger, and one of the Burger King members vanish in smoke.

"What the hell?" Andrew cried. Bakura laughed slowly, he hadn't had this much fun in ages.

"When your in the Shadow Realm, the stakes are always highers. For each burger completed, the other side loses one of their members. Eventually there be nothing left of the other team." Bakura started laughing as his flipped another burger.

"The guy's mad." Andrew muttered.

"You have no idea." Derrick said. The rest of the competition was left in nervous silence. The group members started disappering one by one as each Burger was completed. However the Burger King's numbers were considerably smaller then the McDonalds. Andrew was sweating, his hand shook as he flipped his burger. Bakura was smirking at the pathetic mortal. And he thought he could beat Him! Bakura! Ha! McDonalds was leading 19-15. Bakura was flipping his last burger.

"AHA! Now we win!" He cried

"BAKURA!" A new voice yelled. Bakura lost his sadist swing as he turned to see a pissed off Ryou in his Pajamas, lowing the scaryness Ryou was admitting. Bakura sweatdropped as Ryou walked to him and grabbed his ear.

"OW! Ryou!" Bakura

"You promised me! No more Shadow Games!" Ryou yelled into Bakura's ear, causing a slight ringing noise.

"Well technically this is a Fry-Off not a game so – OW!" Ryou yanked on his ear.

"Change them all back!" Bakura glared at Ryou, Ryou glared back, "Now." Bakura huffed. Everyone started at the two identical boys having a staring contest. Ryou held out his hand.

"Derrick, can you hand me a spatula please?" He asked not taking his glare away from Bakura. Derrick put the spatula in Ryou's hand, and Ryou used it to hit Bakura on the head.

"OW! Okay! Okay! Fine!" The darkness of the Shadow Realm diminished, and all the missing members were on the floor with confused looks on their faces. Ryou then dragged a struggling Bakura out of the building.

"By the way, Mr. Cooke called saying you purposely got Yugi's order wrong. He's going to take out $20 out of your paycheck." Bakura sighed.

The next day, Bakura was flipping burgers when Derrick walked up to him.

"Bakura?" Bakura didn't look up, "Bakura!" He yelled.

"What?" he yelled at Derrick. Derrick made a motion with his hands to clean his ears out. Bakura complied.

"Who was that last night?" Derrick asked

"My little brother," Bakura said, "He's always setting rules down so I don't cause trouble. But secretly he looks up to me."

"He looks up to a delinquent who works at a fast food joint to pay off a fine?" Derrick questioned, Bakura scowled. However he didn't have time to retaliate as Mr. Cooke walked to the squabbling pair.

"Mr. Bakura, I have to talk to you." Mr. Cooke said, Bakura quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah Mr. Cooke?" Bakura question

"I'm afraid to say that your fired."

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

Yusuke: Wow a cliffhanger. WolfRunners eviler then I thought. Anyway, what ever you do, _PLEASE _don't give her any reviews. Her ego's inflated enough to blow up the house.

(WolfRunner jumped up and hit the side of Yusuke's head with a frying pan.)

Yusuke: Aieee! (He fell to the ground)

WolfRunner: Sorry about that. Anyway what do you think? I know your mad about the cliffie but the conclusion is coming soon. And yes after this, I am going to make a Yu Yu Hakusho adventure story.


	4. Desperate Times call for Insane measures

Welcome to McDonalds Bakura!

(WolfRunner was in her room listening to the radio when her shoulders popped up)

Good WR: Wolf, you need to work on your story again, everyone's waiting

Bad WR: Aw come on! Toby's playing! They can wait!

WolfRunner: Well, this isn't one of his better songs…

Bad WR: Wait and better ones will come, Procrastination never hurt anyone.

Good WR: What about your book report?

Bad WR: That's it! (Bad WR jumps off the right shoulder and starts being up Good WR)

WolfRunner: All right! We'll compromise. I'll work on the story, and I'll procrastinate tomorrow

Bad WR: …That Works! Yeah lets do it!

Good WR: WolfRunner Does not own Yugioh or McDonalds

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

_Warning: The following review was written by a sugar high WolfRunner and directed by Michael Bay and should not be viewed by anyone._

Bakura: Tell me were the bomb is or shit will blow up!  
Yami Marik: Can't let you do that Binkey Boy.

Ryou: HELP! THE FANGIRLS ARE INVADING!  
Tea: Yami, I'm pregnant.

Yami: Not surprising considering how you get around.

Tea: You're the father.

Yami: …Wait WHAT?  
Michael Bay: Oh no! Sailor Moon has been kidnapped by Darcia. And Ichigo only has 24 hours or else Inu Yasha will be stuck on the island forever!

George Lucas: Your mixing up anime and plots again.

Michael Bay: What's a plot?  
Mr. Cooke: Bakura I'm afraid you're fired.

_And now the thrilling conclusion_

"FIRED!" Bakura cried out, "WHAT FOR!" Mr. Cooke shook his head sadly

"I'm afraid your presence here is now causing unrest with the other workers. The quality of work and food is slipping." Bakura was stunned, what did he do to freak out the workers? Oh wait, he banished a decent half of them to the Shadow Realm. Then again it was only for an hour at most. Why should they be afraid? Bakura growled.

"You know what? Fine! I never liked this place anyway. 'quality of the food is slipping' WHAT QUALITY! I'm gone!" Bakura threw his visor down and left. Mr. Cooke screamed when he saw Bakura left the patties unattended. Bakura walked down the street. On the outside, he looked pissed off. On the inside, he was freaking out. What is he going to do? He still has a good $500 left on his fine. And he didn't want to worry Ryou about losing his job. He stopped, a light bulb lighting over his head. As the saying goes, desperate times call for desperate measures. He turned around and ran down the street. He ran up to Malik's house. He started banging hard on the door. Not fast enough for Bakura, Ishizu opened the door. Bakura ran inside.

"Hi! Bye!" Ishizu blinked, not knowing what happened. Bakura ran upstairs where he can hear Malik and his Yami fighting.

"YOU CHEATER!" Marik yelled

"HOW CAN I CHEAT AT SUPER SMASH BRO. BRAWL?" Malik yelled back

"YOU WERE BUTTON MASHING!"

"WAS NOT!"  
"WAS TOO!"  
"WAS NOT!"

"WAS TOO!"  
"Malik! Marik! I need your help robbing a bank!" The two Egyptians looked up from the screen.

A couple minutes later they were at the bank in all black with ski masks. Malik was annoyed.

"I still can't believe you talked me into this. What if someone gets hurt?"

"No one's gonna get hurt, they're blanks. We're just going to intimate them into giving us the money." Marik said calmly, Malik sighed through his ski mask.

"Alright lets do this." All three of them ran inside brandishing their guns for everyone to see. Marik took down the guard with the butt of the gun while Bakura went towards the cash register.

"GIVE ME $1598.54 NOW!" Malik coughed, "What is it?"

"Ba- er I mean 'White Cobra' you don't tell them the exact amount of money you want, you tell them 'give me all of your money.'" Malik said.

"Ah, Okay," He turned to the lady, "GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY! AND NO ALARMS!" The lady nodded at the psyco robber and ran to get the money. Bakura grinned, satisfied with a job well done. He looked at the other people in the bank. They all stared at him.

"What the hell are you staring at! Get on the stupid floor!" Everyone complied. Bakura beamed again. The lady came back with a sack filled with money. Bakura grabbed it and looked through it. He looked at his two accomplices.

"All right lets go!" They ran outside to see 900 cop cars blocking their exit. Bakura swore

"Son of a bitch! What do we do now?" Malik looked at him.

"You mean you don't have an escape plan?" Marik sighed.

"This was a spur of a moment thought okay?" Bakura said

"Well you know a bank is being robbed, the cops aren't going to just roll over and let it happen." Marik said

"What do we do?" Malik asked, "If Ishizu finds out, I'm dead!"

"Hold on I got this." Marik said, He grabbed Malik and held his gun to his head, "Everyone back off or this boy gets it!" The cops hesitated, obviously this group of robbers were insane. Marik took the chance and sprinted down the street with Malik. Bakura followed suit. They ran into an abandoned alley. All out of breathe.

"Never…Ever…again…" Malik panted, Bakura nodded, taking off the mask.

"Let's wait for the heat to blow over, then I'll pay off my fine and we'll all live happily ever after."

"What about the money issue. Let's see what we have." They all started counting money, they had $10,000 in total. After a quick change in clothes and splitting of the money, they all went their separate ways. Bakura, in a good mood, once again bought dinner for him and Ryou. When he got home, Ryou was waiting for him.

"Ryou! I got us dinner!" He gave it to Ryou, he then noticed the worried look on Ryou's face, "Is something wrong?"

"I heard our bank's been robbed, I was worried that someone stole from my collage fund." Ryou explained

"And?"

"Nothing from us has been taken, I'm just in shock that's all.'

"Well this should cheer you up. I got a bonus! I can finally pay off my fine!" Ryou smiled

"I knew you would pull through, let's go inside to celebrate." They walked inside. Bakura then noticed something on the table.

"GNOMES!" 

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

WolfRunner: YAY! It's done, huggles for everyone. *Hugs everyone in a 50 meter radius* And now the final part of the story, the author notes and thank yous.

I would like to thank my Dad for the gnome inspiration. When he was away in Afghanistan, my mom got all of these gnomes, and when he came back, they all 'mysteriously disappeared. I would like to thank everyone for all of the reviews I got! 10! That's more then I thought I would get, but I loved them all. And I would like to thank the people who read this but didn't review. Next time please give a poor Authoress a review. Finally I would like to thank all of the distractions to drive me away from…Oh shiny! I would like everyone to know, that this is a sequel from my one-shot Welcome to the Twenty-First Century Bakura incase you didn't know. So feel free to read that if you want. My next story is going to be called 'Cops and Robbers' Which is going to be an adventure story about Yu Yu Hakusho and Yugioh, so keep an eye out for that. While it IS going to be an adventure, there will be lots of humor. Thank You! I love you all! Good night!

P.S Review, Review, Review


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